Tech Intersect™ with Prof Tonya M. Evans

Tech Intersect #13: Kailei Carr-The Future of Inclusive C-Suite Leadership in Tech

March 13, 2020 Tonya M. Evans Episode 14
Tech Intersect™ with Prof Tonya M. Evans
Tech Intersect #13: Kailei Carr-The Future of Inclusive C-Suite Leadership in Tech
Show Notes Transcript Chapter Markers

In this episode of Tech Intersect™, I have a rich and engaging conversation with Kailei Carr. She’s the CEO of The Asbury Group, LLC, and she advises executive and executive-bound women on their executive image, presence and brand. Her podcast, Beyond the Business Suit, provides insider “tips of the trade” for successful women in business and beyond. She is also the Director of the Emerge Academy, a one-year program specifically designed for women of color in technology.

The future of work includes the future of leadership in a Web 3.0 world. And the executive path to the C-Suite is—like every area of business—being disrupted by technology, both in terms of increased opportunities for diverse voices and representation at the C-Suite table. You must be in a constant state of evolution to ensure preparation will meet opportunity in the new economy. Kailei reminds us about the importance of developing leadership skills—especially the importance of using one’s existing expertise to participate in the new economy that is data, innovation and technology driven. And she also reminds us that self-care, especially for women and people of color, is not a luxury; self-care is essential. And that’s why her Beyond the Business Suit Retreat is so popular and well-received and restorative.

We recorded this conversation before the COVID-19 pandemic gripped the entire world. She decided, out of an abundance of caution, to reschedule the retreat. She confirmed that the TECH2020 discount for $200 off of registration will still apply when the new dates are confirmed here

Time to LISTEN, LEARN and LEVERAGE™.

Guest social assets:

Twitter: https://twitter.com/kaileicarr and @asburygroup

Web: beyondthebusinesssuit.com/retreat

Tech Intersect #1: Minda Harts-Curate Your Own Career to Secure the Seat in the New Economy

Full Show Notes: https://techintersectpodcast.com/listen/

**Watch the latest Ask Me Anything (AMA) Replay**

Contact:

Questions and requests: hello@techintersectpodcast.com 

Follow: Twitter @AtTechInte

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Regulate & The Rabbit Hole by Notty Prod licensed via Creative Commons Attribution-NoDerivatives 4.0 International License. Produced by Tonya M. Evans for Advantage Evans, LLC

spk_0:   0:07
Welcome to Tech Intersect. I'm your host, Tanya Evans, and my life and work exists at the heart of law, business and technology. Yeah, I've earned a few fancy titles in degrees over the years, but the bottom line is I'm a writer, speaker, teacher and lifelong learner, and I'm really excited that you join me on this journey. So what is Tech intersect? Well, it's authentic, empowering conversations with really interesting guests who demystify complex topics to prepare you for the future. Because your future is now and it exists where law, business and tech intersect. Get ready to listen, learn and left change. Let's get

spk_1:   0:50
started In this episode of tech Intersect, I have a wonderfully rich and engaging conversation with Kylie Car. She's the CEO of the Asbury Group and advises executive and executive bound women on their image presence and brand. Her podcast beyond the business suit provides insider tips of the trade for successful women in business and beyond, and she's also the director of the Emerge Academy. I'm excited about this episode. I hope you are too. Time to listen. Learn and leverage. Let's get started

spk_2:   1:28
today. I welcome Kylie

spk_1:   1:29
Car, CEO of the Asbury Group LLC and also host of the podcast Beyond the Boardroom. And she's also the director of the Emerge Academy, which is a leadership development program for women of color and tech. I invited Kylie onto the show to talk about empowering women in particular and to prepare for the executive track and what that actually looks like in this fast moving, tech driven world and how to hone and to own your image, presence and brand. So Kylie, Welcome.

spk_2:   2:00
Thank you so much for having Absolutely. First of all, I just want

spk_1:   2:04
to know that I can hear you smiling. I am your filing as you're speaking. And so that makes me smile, too, because I really love these conversations. But your energy, you know, your energy exudes positivity. And so

spk_2:   2:18
I already feel warm and buzzy today. And we've not even started under fall. I'm glad to hear that. But yes, I am smiling from ear. Excellent. All right, well, I want my

spk_1:   2:30
listeners to smile too. So would you share with them your own path to the executive track and your background and technology And what your origin story is that led you to this moment in time.

spk_2:   2:41
Sure. So I started my career back in. I won't say when, but I started. I will say I started my career actually in human resource is So I, uh, my mom was in Human Resource is my dad at the time, was in management consulting, and I started my career in Human Resource is and then went into management consulting not to follow my parents, but I guess it's in the genes. So But, you know, while I was in in management consulting, even though I was on the human side of the business but worked a lot in technology, I realized that I needed to take a take a shift and bring in some more creativity into my work and decided to get an MBA and make a ship into marketing. So went into marketing led, ah, product teams and digital marketing teams, both on the media and entertainment side, as well as on the tech side it with advertising technology and then went out on my own. Some part of my origins story includes life changes that impacted career changes, and sometimes when those things happen in our lives, that are that seemed to be pretty traumatic. They have significant impacts and there can be silver lining. So I'll take you to 2013. When I was working, leading a marketing department for a technology company was planning my wedding. I was also not happy at my job, honestly, beginning of what was happening in my life. My mom, unfortunately. Waas battling Stage four esophageal cancer. And that's where my energy waas between that and planning my wedding and all of these life changes were happening. And I remember not wanting to go to work on a Monday Sunday night. I don't know if any of your listeners have been there, but, like one Sunday night, you're like, Oh my gosh, I really don't want work going Don't work. Tomorrow morning I had a conversation with my boss and to say, You know, maybe I need to take a step back and at the same time we had a new CEO. That CEO wanted to move my department and a few others to our headquarters, which was in a different city in Kneeland. A. I decided to leave that that organization. My last day there was on a Friday on Monday, my mom passed away and Wednesday my husband left his job. By that time we were married and he was already planning on going out on his own at the time. And needless to say, at that moment, I realized who Number one, The fragility of life number two. I can get another six figure job doing great in climbing that corporate ladder, but I knew everything in my soul was telling me that. No, this next phase of my career was to give back to women and to help women to identify what they needed to know to advance in their careers. And a lot of those things are not talked about in performance reviews. They're not talking about in the classroom. So I started my my practice from there, and now I work with a lot of executive and executive bound women on their image. There presence, their personal brand and really helping them to become their best Selves in their most authentic Selves at work,

spk_1:   6:08
right? It's That's such a Oh my goodness, I'm so excited. Have a 1,000,000 things to ask. I will try to contain my enthusiasm. Don't contain it, unleashing your authentic self. This is such a powerful conversation because I feel like and so I'm the first African American associate dean of my law school. I work in New Hampshire. Um, they're not a lot of black and brown people, and certainly not in positions of power, the only person of color on the faculty and there, no staff of color at all. And we do have female lead leadership positions in many areas, and so that's important. But I wonder what's sometimes even when you have a number of women around you. We don't often have the support structures internally, and I'm wondering if it's something it may be. Many things one. We're not asking for what we need. We don't know what we need. We bought a load of goods that don't serve us well in the workplace, about the division of the personal and professional life where some of the areas that you think are keys that are missing and what you're working on to help empower women to

spk_2:   7:31
change. Well, first thing is, a lot of us don't know. We don't know. We've been told, work hard, you'll you'll just work hard, heads down and things will happen. And that is just not the case. There is a man by the name of Harvey Coleman, who wrote a book called Empowering Yourself, and he talks about the pie method, which is performance, image and exposure. And then most of us think that it's all about performance. In actuality, Onley 10% of promotions, or the only 10% of what it takes to get you to the next level is based upon performance. 90% is based upon your image, how you show up as well as your exposure. Who knows you who who has power and influence, knows your capabilities and is behind you. So a lot of it has to do with that sponsorship. Ah, lot of it has to do with taking care of ourselves right off. I mean, what another statistic, or at least some? Some research that catalysts did was around what is called the emotional tax that ah, lot. I mean, many of us who work in in environments with people who are not like us. We experience what they call an emotional tax in people of color and especially women of color and, most significantly, black women. Smooth experience. This emotional tax of dealing with micro aggressions and discrimination and feeling other day that impacts our well being in impacts, our ability to thrive. And next thing you know, we're trying to survive. We're trying to make it through and were not able to thrive because wearing masks at work and then we're wearing capes at home and at work, and that's just so emotionally taxing. So that's a lot of what I talk to women about.

spk_1:   9:33
Yeah, that's Ah, it's critical also. And I can only think of my own experience where I very much enjoy my job. I enjoy the people I work, you know, with whom I work. Um, the pressures of it are significant, but they're also areas where there have been moments where I'm overachieve or a high achiever. When I say overachievement, I'm a high achiever at work hard and, you know, understand intellectually this idea of meritocracy. But I also know it doesn't work that way as you mentioned, and not just who you know, but as you said, who knows you and positioning yourself there, but also energetically the toll that it takes to constantly do that 20 early, 24 hours a day because even when we think we're sleeping. We're still working on the issues that were unresolved when we closed our eyes. And so it's it's finding a way to. I certainly don't use the word balance, but I'm focusing more on mindfulness. How am I feeling where my carrying my tension, all of those things that were not taught and that we don't know the physical impact that causes us not to be as excellent as we want to be. And when the Cape gets tussled and dirtied and when you just don't even know why you can't go on anymore, you just know one day it's like I don't know if I could go back there, and it's not because you're not great and it's not because you don't actually love what you're doing. But the emotional tax is a really great phrase and way to identify what's really going on. How many people actually know that? That's what's happening

spk_2:   11:07
exactly? And honestly, One of the reasons why I started getting more into the the emotional piece pieces of the equation and the um, and so grounded in mindfulness practices and resiliency practices was because when I first went out on my own I was doing a lot of image consulting. I was doing a lot of personal branding, consulting in executive presence, work with clients, and I realized that I could help somebody look the part. I can even help them with their leadership skills. But if they don't have the right foundation, there's only so far I can take them

spk_1:   11:44
right? Absolutely, absolutely. And I can imagine it's well received, but people don't you know, When do you highlight what is needed? I hope that people will listen to the call and really take advantage of that information because it is a critical part of the path protecting yourself and making sure that you're ready for the next level. I talked quite a bit about that with Minda Heart Episode one That was fantastic, securing all the seats and all the beds. Yes, I will drop that link to Episode one in the show notes as well, and I hope that at some point down the road, we can figure out a way to do. I do ask me anythings with my advantage, Evans members, and in the months to come they will figure out a time that we can all get together and do something like that because you're right. If we focus on Lee on the outside and the image, the presence in the brand is certainly important. But what I hear you say is if if you have all that together and your internal workings is our miss, then it doesn't matter. So have all the lipstick and Prada and everything else in the way your diction and the perfect king's English and the way you move through the world, but without having balance and presence of mind. And when I say balance is not work life, it's literally the Stasis centeredness, the centeredness. Yes, yes.

spk_2:   13:06
So when you do, you find

spk_1:   13:08
that there's a difference between when you began your own executive path and what you see now, particularly in the way that technology is impacting the executive path for women both in terms of opportunities but also in terms of representation. What have you seen our the that that the changes and how technology is impacting those areas?

spk_2:   13:28
Well, number one when it comes to even networks and exposure and the tools that we have from a technology perspective that that has just grown exponentially since I was executive executive and corporate myself in terms of the actual field. So one of the programs that I run through an organization called the I T Senior Management Form is called the Emerge Academy. And I shepherd and guide Ah, cohort on a year long journey and we're on our third cohort now, and there based their women of color in technology. So even though I'm not, you know, in the technology field anymore, I'm seeing from them what they are experiencing and what I'm finding is that they are still. I mean, we're in 2020 now, and they're still amongst the only ones, if not a very select few off women and or per people of color in their organizations in technology. So we're still finding that we don't have the pipeline of of people of color, of women of women of color in these technical fields in order for there to be senior executives who are CEO CTO CSOs who are filling these jobs. So I think there's a real need to go into the earlier years as much as possible, and in fact, they even started a program for ah mentorship program for women of color and stem fields in some majors and colleges to keep them there because they're not even staying in their majors because they don't see people who look like them. They don't have a support, so they're coming out of the pipeline before they can even get to manage your level, much less a

spk_0:   15:23
senior executive. We hope you're enjoying this addition of tech intersect. Our conversation will continue in a moment, but first, a word on an exciting opportunity. The tech Intersect podcast is released to the public every Friday, but as an advantage Evans member, you'll receive first listen. Access and live tech Intersect Connect video Champs Premium members also receive a copy of My E book, Gen Xers Guide to Up Skilling in a Web three Point a World and unlimited access to the video check Replays and Bonus episode. My Pro Members, ready to leverage what they listen to and learn, receive access toothy up Skilling self guided course and V I. P Group coaching calls. So as you can see advantage, Evans membership adds substantial value to your podcast experience, and there are three ways to take advantage to see what I did right there of all that the tech Intersect podcast has to offer. So subscribe now and let's listen, learn and leverage together and now back to the conversation. So that

spk_1:   16:38
speaks to some of the unique challenges of those on a pure executive path as well. So I was thinking, because you have dedicated your focus on the executive side, but without the cultivation and it's not for I don't know, I kind of go back and forth on this, so help me out a little. On one hand, there is a pipeline problem. On the other hand, I know dozens and hundreds of women like me, so in that respect, there is none. But if you don't have the relationships of people helping to shepherd you from middle management, let's assume that that we have more and more women in stem in earlier years. I hope that is the case. Now. I know that your program and a lot of programs air trying to make sure that there's a good start. Good friend Kim Bryant, with black girls code, for example, is really changing the face in that way. Um, and I can think of some others, but there's a precipitous decline as you get to middle management and then, as you mentioned to the executive space. So what? What's the key difference? Or one of the key differences between how you might work with someone truly on the executive track, versus someone who may learn to code and and work as an entrepreneur or a quote unquote lower level, different level? Ah, and not focused on the executive path. What's the difference there for those women who go

spk_2:   17:55
on honestly, that there's not a huge difference in terms of the approach? Because I start everything from understanding, gaining an understanding of who they are at their core, really, truly understanding a water what is They're what I call personal. Powering personal power is a combination of your your God given gifts and talents, your skills, those still skills and education and experience you've gained over time. The experiences that have shaped who you are as well as what things you're passionate about, what people come to you for, what gives you energy and passion, and also what you feel purpose to do. So all of those things, getting a sense of who they are based upon, all of those factors, in addition to helping them understand how other people see them. So what do people thank them for? What do people come to them for, even having them ask people who know them? So I usually ask my clients, regardless of their level of or where they are in their careers? Asked 10 people who know you to describe you using three adjectives and see what comes back. So those two things, those two steps, in addition to helping them helping me understand from them with their goals and aspirations are helps me to shape how you know what the what is on what will work on to help them get to those goals based upon who they are.

spk_1:   19:24
Absolutely. And that probably leads you to create things like that, retreats in the events that you're working on a swell. I'll get to that in one second, because I do want to talk about your second beyond the business suit retreat. But I meant to ask you about your podcast is well because, as obviously, I'm in the podcast world right now and it's been a fantastic way to reach more people because they're only certain number of of messages that Aiken receive when they asked, Can I just talk to you for five minutes? And I would do that for all 24 hours? A. Great

spk_2:   19:58
I just talked to everybody this way,

spk_1:   20:02
and then we'll figure it out later. So talk

spk_0:   20:05
to me about

spk_1:   20:05
your podcast. How you been started, podcasting and And what the p. O. B. Is of your pot

spk_2:   20:11
shore beyond the business suit started in 2014. So we are. We just celebrated five years a few a few months ago to make you That is

spk_1:   20:22
a major accomplishment because this is no Joe Michael. I want you to understand,

spk_2:   20:26
and I know that's amazing. When people ask me today, you know, how do I get started? I'm thinking they're probably so many more tools today than back then. I mean, when I started in 23rd probably 2013 early, 2014 even exploring who it was, it was a feat. But I started it because number one I was a big podcast listener, even back men. And it feels like the early days and and I knew that I was always drawn to leveraging new media platforms and it felt like new media. It was also something that I could learn versus if I vote focused on video instead of audio. Then the learning curve would have been just higher, longer learning her. So I wanted to do that, and I also felt like it was away from me to it. Build and engage an audience and share what I was learning. And if you go to my early episodes versus today, I mean, I was talking about different things. I was a different person. So it's been great to to evolve with the podcast. And essentially we are looking at ways to help women in business thrive at work and beyond. So we really want to help women, whether you're an executive or a and entrepreneur. And even though I say women, we have men to you, listen on and we have listeners and over 100 countries Teoh to help them thrive at working behind. So we really feel like anything you want to dio in terms of elevating your yourself in your career is an inside out job

spk_1:   22:04
outstanding, outstanding? Well, when everyone to tune in both to the new into the, uh, not so new and I know that this is a process of evolution. So as a recovering perfectionist, I had to give that up and say, Let's just get started to have these conversations and find a way that leads me to some exciting news that you have to share with the listeners about the second, beyond the business suit retreat and so share what the retreat is about who it's for, what the attendees can expect.

spk_2:   22:36
Shore. That beyond the business suit retreat was something that I felt called to do about two years ago, probably longer than that in except sat on it for a while. But I felt like there was a need to create an experience. I saw what was happening with the leadership programs that I was running where these women were saying, I'm not Onley walking away, becoming a better leader. I'm becoming a better woman and understanding what it takes to find to create an environment that will be a catalyst to not Onley growth and expansion but true transformation. So we go to so many conferences, whether it's business conferences or women's conferences, where you leave like Oh, that was good or I got some information I have some notes in my journal or I I feel inspired, but you leave and that's it right. And I wanted to create an experience where women fell, restored, renewed and that they were were different women when they left. So we focused way we launched our 1st 1 last year in 2019 and it's specifically focused on women of color because of what I talked about with the emotional tax, I knew that anyone could be impacted positively from this experience. But I particularly wanted to focus on women of color who were seeing the most who needed it the most. And we take women on a journey. We we help them to pause and give themselves permission to take a breather. We help them to restore their energy, because I believe that in order to have true professional and leadership development, you must first be mindful and get a get centered, but also elevate your energy so that you're in a peak state to retain what's been given to you. So we always follow a journey of first Let's lists. Let's take a breather, lets you know, take a breath and exhale, then also get some immersive experiences. So we have group coach small group coaching sessions with some phenomenal coaches to help go deep like this is not a Let me just check in, check out experience. This is not Ah, well, you know, I'll go to some of those sessions or I might take a few notes. No, there are tears there. There is true community and sisterhood. There is true transformation, and the impact that these women have experience from even the 1st 1 has been tremendous. We had someone raise over a $1,000,000 in a VC fund. We had someone start a VC fund. We've had babies. We've had marriages. We've had promotions, new jobs, new ventures. So many great accomplishments have been made because of their investment in themselves. So we're having the second beyond the business suit retreat from April 17 through 19th 2020 in Scottsdale, Arizona. Then it's going to be a an amazing, transformational experience.

spk_1:   25:46
I I so want to grab my phone and look at my calendar right now, but I'm May I present, but I anticipate that I don't know what's going to keep me from being there in April, because I know all too well, how important it is to take those moments. And I was thinking about at the end of the year doing like a personal time, sick time. And, you know, they're all these months that wouldn't buy without any of it. And I know that, you know, it wasn't feeling well some days I know that I wanted to take personal time to take care, fluffing up my nest and just being still. But all of the other things that needed to get done, particularly wanting to do an excellent job, which I'm always inclined to do, and we'll do anyway. But in order to do that over the long period, you have to take this time and what I'm learning now even more when we think about this, you know, Web 303.0, and technology and how we are have opportunities through technology to connect but often feel more disconnected than ever. And I wonder that additional tax on top of the the emotional tax that we already know about how it is impacted by technology. Do you have any thoughts about I think social media and all of that? What? Your thoughts about that

spk_2:   27:04
Yes, so I mean, there's this false sense of Oh, I'm so I'm so connected to everybody because, you know, everyone I went to high school with, I can see them on Facebook or, you know, I'm still connected people that I've met years ago on instagram or linked in, and we get this false sense that we're connected. But we're seeing the highlight reels of everyone, and what's happening is that it's causing people to feel like they're not enough that they we get in in to the What I call the should is like Oh, I should be doing this. I should be doing that because such and such just posted that they they're doing this or, you know it's so I feel like it. It's giving us a false sense of connection, and having those in person rich experiences is so it makes those times when we are connecting one on one with someone or in a small group that much more valuable. And it's really difficult for us to we are complete and authentic Selves on social media. If that's the way that your community, even through texting, we can't express emotions like Emojis on Lee, help us so much when it comes Teoh expressed in you. We cannot hear the tone in somebody's voice. And there's so much misinterpretation that takes place because of technology, or see their face. Or even when

spk_0:   28:28
you do see

spk_1:   28:29
the face got, quite frankly,

spk_2:   28:30
Teoh even touch them to stay, to see like Okay, I can feel your energy in this room. So I think what we're going to see more of And don't get me wrong. I love technology. I am, I am there I am. I don't know what I would do without. At the same time, I think we're going to see a desire form or riel off, then take connections and in live in person connections moving forward.

spk_1:   28:58
Well, I desire more riel and person connections with you. I suspect on my list years? Absolutely. I'm so glad that we were able to do this. Your cousin of a cousin. So you're are We're already half way every family and family in more ways than one, because we are definitely on this journey together. I'm so glad that we found our way to each other. I also know that there are no accidents and that this is the right time and this is the right moment. So I absolutely look forward to continuing the conversation. I'm excited for my listeners to have had the opportunity to learn about this. I want them to continue to know more about the Emerging Academy, certainly about Asbury Group and the beyond the business suit retreat. So tell the listeners how they can connect with you and your work.

spk_2:   29:47
Sure. Well, first of all, thank you, Tommy. I'm so thrilled. I agree there. And I always say there are no such things as coincidences. Well, this is a divine timing is, and I'm excited, and I'm just thankful to be connected with you at this moment and in terms of getting connected with your listeners, you can find me on on all the socials and highly car, and I have a lot of vowels in my name, so I will ah, well spell. It's K I l E I C A R r. You can also follow our work at the Asbury Group at Asbury Group on Social Media or at group asbury dot com. You can find us wherever you find Europe or listen to your podcasts. The beyond the business suit podcast. Just look for that or beyond the business suit dot com for all of our archives of the podcast. And if you're interested in going to the beyond the business suit retreat, we'd love to have you. You can find that at beyond the business suit dot com slash retreat. And for listeners of this podcast, I would love to extend a $200 discount, which is an extension of our early bird pricing until March 10th and that that can be done by going to you can find that one beyond the business suit dot com slash retreat and by using the discount code Tech 2020.

spk_1:   31:13
Perfection Perfection. Does that include hosts as well? Absolutely, Absolutely. Mandy. I will include all of this information in the show notes both for all listeners and then take a deeper dive for advantage. Evans members to also include some additional links and resource is to help you along your path on the executive track, remembering that we're not just focusing on the outside, but also certainly on the inside because there is no dividing line between the inside you and the outside. You. It's all you and no matter where you go, there you are. So let's take care of ourselves personally and professionally. Let's keep connecting authentically online and more importantly, offline. It's so old, it's new again. Let's reconnect flow. Kylie car.

spk_0:   32:04
Thank you so much for joining me today. Thank you so

spk_2:   32:07
much for having

spk_1:   32:08
me. The future of work includes the future of leadership in a Web 3.0 World, and the executive path to the C suite is like every area of business being disrupted by technology, both in terms of increased opportunities for diverse voices but also representation at the C suite table. But you have to be in a constant state of evolution in order to ensure preparation will meet opportunity in this new economy. Kylie reminds us about the importance of developing leadership skills, especially the importance of using one's existing expertise to participate in the new economy. That is data innovation and technology driven, and she also reminds us that self care, especially for women and people of color, it isn't a luxury. Self care is essential, and that's why her beyond the business suit retreat is so popular and so well received and so restorative so visit beyond the business suit dot com slash retreat form or information and tell her I sense you.

spk_0:   33:16
OK, that's it for now. Until next time, continue to shop. Stay in touch with host Tanya Evans via your favorite social media on Twitter at at Tech Intersect and on Instagram via the handle text intersex. This by cast has been produced by Stephanie Renee for Soul Sanctuary Incorporated.

(Cont.) Tech Intersect #13: Kailei Carr-The Future of Inclusive C-Suite Leadership in Tech